The author finds that living in the real world is the most outstanding. Other people do things without any difficulty. But it is not so for him. A number of times he could not find the lavatory in a cinema. He also forgot his room number in a hotel.
Author makes mess at airport
Once the author went on a big trip with his family. It was Easter. They were flying to England for a week. They were checking in Logan Airport in Boston. He remembered then that he had recently joined British Airways’ frequent flyer programme. He also remembered that he had put the card in his carry-on bag. It hung around his neck.
Contents of author’s bag out
The zip on the bag was jammed. He got angry. He pulled at it in anger. The zip gave way. His things Jike the tin of pipe tobacco, magazines, passport, money etc, spread over a large area. He looked at these things in great surprise. He cried at his tobacco. He had got his finger injured. Blood was coming from it. There was a deep wound. He was greatly confused. His wife looked at him in wonder.
Author pinned to the floor
The author was always confused in his air travels. He caused great inconveniences to other passengers. Once he bent over to tie his shoelace. Then someone pushed his seat back. He got pinned on the floor. He had to catch the leg of the man near him.
The author knocks a soft drink on a lady
On another occasion he knocked soft drinks on to the lap of a lady two times. The lady looked at him in surprise. She uttered an oath with ‘Oh’. This was not his worst experience.
When pen leaked while flying
His worst experience was another. On a plane flight he was writing his thoughts. He had his pen in his mouth. It leaked while he was talking to a lady next seat. He went to the toilet. He saw that his mouth, chin, tongue, teeth and gums had got navy blue.
How he flew
The author’s wife cautioned the children on plane flights about the author. He would cut the meat. But it would fly. But when alone, he did not eat or drink. He would sit quietly. This would cut his laundry bills.
Why he couldn’t gather miles
The author did not get his flyer miles in that way. He couldn’t find the card in time. He knew that others were flying first class to Bali with their air miles. But he couldn’t collect anything. He must fly 100,000 miles a year. But he had hardly gathered only about 212 air miles from twenty-three airlines.
This was because he forgot to ask for the air miles. Sometimes the airline didn’t record these. The airline clerk informed him that he was not entitled to them.
Reason for not gathering miles
In January he flew to Australia. He hoped to get about a zillion air miles. But the clerk told him that he was not entitled. He asked the reason. The clerk told that the ticket was in the name of B. Bryson. But the card was in the name of W. Bryson. He explained that both Bill and William were hardly different. But she didn’t accept that.
Result of not gathering miles
Thus, the author didn’t get his air miles. He won’t fly to Bali first class. He could never go that long without eating.